Luckless
by Snowballf1te
Summary: Gordon Freeman has incredible luck, but if he hadn't had that asset, how would have each chapter turned out?
1. Anomalous materials

**Everyone knows about Freeman's absurd luck, but what if that luck hadn't found him?**

Anomalous Materials

Gordon walked into the front office. He was still completely enraged about the time the train had told him. Was he that late _again?_ The security guard babbled about something to do with messages and software failures. Gordon was too angry at himself to hear properly. Just before he walked out, he pressed the alarm.

"What the hell, Gordon," said the security guard, "are you trying to get me into trouble!?"

"Yes," came Gordon's reply. Gordon stalked off into the halls, ignoring the complaints about the ties. Gordon had to admit that they looked incredibly ridiculous. He bumped into is friend Calhoun.

"Why're you so upset?" said Barney. "Catch me after work, I'll buy you a beer." That got Gordon a bit happier.

"Thanks!" With his spirits raised, Gordon walked into the locker room to take a look at the HEV suit. Gordon was visibly distressed. What the hell was supposed to protect his head? He slipped into it and opened his locker. "Oh, good! A battery!" Gordon thought sarcastically. He charged his HEV and hoped it would make an energy forcefield around his head.

Gordon walked down into the break room. He was _really _hungry. He stole whatever cheap food was in the microwave. Some kind of instant noodle, with a sickly green colour. Who cared anyway? Gordon ate it. He walked over to the airlock, where a guard let him through.

Gordon walked through the left side and took the elevator down. It didn't matter which side he took, but he preffered the left. He walked down another hall, and a couple of scientists activated the retinal scanners. Gordon cursed his decision to not get retinal clearance. He walked down yet another hallway, saw a computer blowing up, and came to the last "security check."

There was somethig about deviating from standard procedures and a resonance cascade, whatever the hell that was. As they started to activate the retinal scanner, Gordon was full of confidence.

Gordon walked into the test chamber. After waiting for a minute, he was told to climb up a ladder. He espected to manually override the anti-mass spectrometer and type obscure lines of code. Instead, he was told to flip a switch. Gordon raged and cursed, fuming. Once the anti-mass spectrometer was at 105 percent, he had to push the carrier. This made _great _use of his MIT education and Ph.D in theoretical physics. He saw a green beam as the crystal smashed into the phaser. There were cries of distress from the scientists.

Gordon blacked out, and woke up in a ruined test chamber. Monsters were… appearing. He blacked out again, and woke up in another dimension were some monsters were drinking from a pool. He blacked out again, and a circle of creatures were around him. As they started to chase after him, he woke up. He couldn't remember anything. He was covered in blood, and figured he had severe brain damage. As he died, he cursed the science crew for not making a helmet.


	2. Unforseen Consequences

**Sorry for not posting in a while, I had just gotten half life 2 episode 1 and 2! Please don't hate me D:**

Unforseen Consequences

Gordon, mysteriously unharmed by anything, walked up to the door of the test chamber. It was completely destroyed. He Jumped up and slid through, like a snake, although he thought of a sandworm in an HEV suit. There was blood strewn over every wall. Gordon used the broken retinal scanner, and, to his surprise, it worked. He walked into the next room, in which there was an injured and an uninjured scientist. They jabbered on about getting to the surface, and walked up to the retinal scanner.

Gordon went through the door, only to have a large cart fall on right in front of him. He cursed and jumped back, tripping on some random guy's entrails. A laser suddenly shot out, and he decided what to do. Would he go under or over? He thought under would be easier, but he waned to show off, causing him to do the sandworm thing again. Sandworms were his favourite animal. He saw another laser, but before he went past he waited for the laser to blow a security guard to bits. Gordon thought he was probably stupid anyway.

He walked through to a wrecked room. That's what they would all be like, anyway. Suddenly, a watermelon sized hot poocket appeared and tried to eat his face! Gordon high-tailed it out of there and came to a room with a high powered laser. Gordon was about to sandworm again when the laser smashed the door. Gordon sandwormed over the laser and went through the hole. All the while he was struggling to make up a name for the hot pockets. Maybe: Headcrabs. Gordon liked that one.

Gordon, walking over to a locked door, swore and swore, resolving to starve to death, until he saw something lying on the ground. A crowbar. He picked it up and smashed the glass on the door. He walked through and came to an elevator. He pressed the button and an elevator smashed into the ground. The door opened, so he climbed up the maintenance ladder and saw a guy fighting a zombie. That zombie killed him, so Gordon hit it with a crowbar.

He picked up the pistol. Only 7 rounds and no extra ammo. That was a stupid security guard. He walked through a couple of zombie rooms, swinging his crowbar along the way. Later, he came to to the room with the alarm and stuff. He was mildly embarrased about that, and went through a hole in the wall. More hot pockets. He shot them all and ran through to the next room. There were a few dead scientists, but he pressed on until he found a lever. He pickd up some ammo from a dead guard, and pulled it A lift moved down, so he jumped on. Headcrabs swarmed down in huge numbers, but Gordon managed to hit every single one.

He walked through the next few rooms, only to find a… Bullchicken. It smahsed the catwalk, falling to its death, and Gordon jumped past. Suddenly, Something grabbed his neck. He tried to smash it with his crowbar. It stuck. It slowly pulled him up, until, with one bite, Gordon no longer had a head.


End file.
